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Photo Credit: “Wonder Lust”, © 2010 Sean Davis, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

Dear Wonder Woman,

I recently read an article about your ridiculous amazing story here. While I’m very interested in your situation, I’d also like to take a ride in your invisible plane after you read this letter. So call me, we’ll do lunch.

Since you already have 13 children, I understand this ain’t your first rodeo. You’ve probably seen everything when it comes to child rearing. But now you’re 65, There was a huge difference in my parenting ability between the birth of my first kid (10 years ago) to the birth of my last kid (one year ago), and I’m not even 40 yet. I’m pretty close though, and I’m fucking tired.

I’m tired because of lack of sleep. I’m tired of little people who need things from me all the time, I’m tired of cleaning up sick and pee on toilets. I’m tired of cooking and cleaning and questions (Jesus Christ the questions).

That being said, I’d assume you are monumentally more tired than I am. But you’re going to have 4 babies, along with the 13 you all ready have. Don’t you think that’s a bit much, even for a Wonder Woman like yourself? I’m sure if I used your magic, truth evoking lasso to produce your most honest thoughts, you’d say, “Holy shit, what have I done? This might not have been an awesome idea.”

Here’s the thing, it’s not that I think a 65-year-old woman wouldn’t make a great mother. I’m just wondering why, at 65 years old, someone would procure donor eggs, and donor sperm, to have more children? And where would you find a doctor who is willing to support this endeavor?

When I decided I was done having babies, it wasn’t a decision I weighed lightly. I still struggle with the fact that I love having babies, and would have had many more given unlimited monetary resources and the assurance that they would all be born healthy, even though I’m considered “advanced maternal age”. But you? You are beyond that. Way beyond… and I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would want to become a parent again at 65.

I hope you have lined up some help to wash your cape.

You’re gonna need it.

Hugs and Kisses,

Amy

P.S. I’m completely serious about flying in your plane. I’ll even wash it when we’re done.

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46 Thoughts on “An Open Letter to the 65-Year-Old Mother of 13, Who is Now Pregnant With Quadruplets

  1. I … just … can’t … even …

  2. Nope! Nope! And more nope!

  3. I would assume that at her age she has gone through menopause? So hormone shots to even get pregnant, stay pregnant – then post partum and menopause again?! And seriously, the doctor that aided this should really have considered this a bit more……..

  4. What the what?! I am speechless.

  5. Mothers, and women, and human beings generally, should stand together in support not sanctimonioous judgement. This woman seems to have more family support, more exerience and more knowledge than most and I for one wish her well.

    • Well Laura, I’m sorry you missed the funny in this post. And I don’t think I’ve projected any ill will on this woman.

    • Get off your “sanctimonious” soap box and open your eyes, lady. You’re reading a HUMOR blog.

    • Get the sand out of your vagina. In no way has Amy judged her. If anything, Amy, like me, is in awe of how a woman at retirement age feels able to take on carrying and raising quadruplets. If you don’t like the HUMOR in Amy’s blog, I have to ask, WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE? Takes a set of stones to call someone judgmental when that’s precisely what you’re doing. Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you

    • That is totally vulgar, and you know what, you’re right. I’m out of here. Humour is subjective …. and usually funny

    • She states her reasoning for having more babies is because her youngest, 9yr old, wanted younger siblings!!! That takes spoiling/giving your child everything they ask for to a WHOLE new level! I’m just wondering what she’s going to do when that 9yr old changes their mind and doesn’t want them anymore….adoption? Pawning them off on her older children?? It’s not like she will be able to just get rid of them like she could a new doll or toy.

  6. Didn’t know E.T. could have babies.

  7. Ummm….not cool.

  8. I just read the article and it says she did artificial insemination, which means they’re probably her eggs. It’s still insane, but not quite as insane as the same situation via IVF.

  9. Not only that but pretty Fucking selfish. I hate passing judgement but I’m going for it this time. Nevermind that her reproductive system is probably akin to an abandoned gas station what if old age takes over and she can’t take care of them? Is she planning on living to 110?

  10. This is really crazy. And I was less disgusted and more entertained before I saw you comment that this picture isn’t really her.

    • Also it said she “decided to get pregnant again when her 9 year old asked for a younger sibling”?!? I am blown away further that she decided to get pregnant simply at the request of her child.

  11. There is always someone for anything. I guess she has kids who are parents…. So she has help.

  12. Can’t imagine any medical personnel who would implant eggs and sperm in this lunatic. Malpractice, malpractice, malpractice!

  13. Dafuq? Is she a surrogate?

  14. I’m assuming the 13 others and grandkids will do most of the work. I only had triplets and a sick wife and couldn’t do it alone for the first year or so

  15. For the love of God someone commit her. And as usual, Amy, perfectly written letter.

  16. Ok…here I go….I read the article and saw her actual picture, and I just have to say she looks DAMN good for having 13 and pregnant with 4 currently….she also looks like a granny, but some 30 yr old women look like great grandmother’s….I hope she lives long enough to raise them all……crazily

  17. freaky. so freaking freaky. why? smh…

  18. I’m a little envious of her physical prowess. But not so much about raising all those kids.

  19. Wow….doing all of this because her youngest, a 9 year old, wanted younger siblings….that takes the notion of spoiling/giving your kids EVERYthing they ask for to a WHOLE new level! What is she going to do when the 9yr old says she doesn’t want them anymore? Adoption? Pawn them off on older children? It’s not like she can just throw them into the bin with all the other toys/dolls that were no longer fun and wanted.

  20. DAFUK!

    This annoys me in a way because you do have the woman out there that cant have babies or struggle and have to jump through hoops to have one baby and then you have ignorant folks like this lady that abuse what god gave her. Those quadruples will not have a mother in a few years, how does she not see that as unfair to them. They will have to grow up being raised by siblings or who know because this lady was so old she didn’t live long enough to raise her babies. And come on 13, why do you honestly need more. Its all to get famous and money, I BET my ass on that. Ok sorry end rant!

    BTW so glad I found your site and twitter acct. #LocoBananas

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