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bombs

My Cheeseburger Bombs bring the boys to the yard, and they’re like, HOLY SHIT IS THAT DEEP FRIED BACON?

We have survived the first week of summer. Barely. Actually, less than barley… minimally. Look, I love my kids, and camp doesn’t start for another week, so I’ve been grasping at straws trying to keep the peace and have a good time. Sadly, I am failing.

But that’s okay.

We are still alive, we haven’t needed any medical intervention (fingers crossed) and today is a new day. Today, I decided to chuck the everyday peanut butter and jelly lunch in an effort to wow my kids. “See, look kids, mommy does care, she really does! She fried shit with bacon on it for you! LOOK, bacon.” Okay, the conversation didn’t go quite like that, but they were impressed, and thankful, and quiet for a whole 7 minutes because they were chewing.

It. Was. Glorious.

I know what you’re thinking, “Amy, please… I too, want to be an MVP mom today. I too, want to knock my kids socks off and have 7 minutes of chewing silence.” Well bitch, you’re welcome. Here is the holy grail for no-school-day lunches and tailgate parties… Bacon Cheeseburger Bombs.

Boom!

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This is what you need.

Bacon Cheeseburger Bombs
Adapted from Pillsbury

1 can (16.3 oz) Pillsbury™ Grands!™ Flaky Layers refrigerated original or buttermilk biscuits
1 lb lean (at least 80%) ground beef, cooked or 16 frozen (thawed) cooked meatballs (I use ground beef)
1 block (8 oz) Cheddar cheese, cut into 16 cubes
16 slices bacon (One pack)
Long toothpicks or skewers
Canola oil for frying

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Let them help, but make sure they wash their hands first. Kids = Gross.

First things first, pop open your can of biscuits, separate them into 8 individual biscuits and cut those suckers in half. I used a serrated knife and just went to town. At this point the kids are going to want to help. LET THEM. Shit, you guys don’t have anything else to do today, might as well milk this for as long as you possibly can. Once the biscuits are cut you can have your sous chef use his hands to press them into a circle about 3 inches in diameter. You can fix them all when he gets bored and walks away. Trust me.

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“You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don’t smell like Santa.”

Now this is getting really fun. Next, place 2 tablespoons cooked ground beef (or 1 meatball) and 1 cube of cheese in the center of each circle. Wrap the dough to completely enclose beef and cheese; pinch seams to seal. Don’t worry if your dough rips or anything. Messes are delicious too.

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Bacon makes my heart go pitter patter.

Now that you have 16 little “bombs” of awesome you should put your canola oil in a 3 quart heavy saucepan or deep fryer. Heat oil to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. MAKE SURE your oil is not too hot. You don’t want to have the outside of your “bombs” burnt to a crisp while the inside dough is raw. That would be bad – not that I’ve ever experienced this or anything (okay, I’ve totally experienced this). While your oil is getting hot you are going to wrap each stuffed “bomb” with one bacon slice – I told you this was health food – and gently secure the loose bacon with a toothpick by inserting it through the bacon and halfway through the “bomb”.

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Ouch, that hurt.

By now your oil should be 350. Make sure to check that shit, and fry stuffed “bombs” 4 to 5 minutes or until dough is golden brown on all sides. While you’re frying, this is usually the time the kids are getting hungry and start throwing random shit at you, like, a metal shopping cart. Just ignore them and fry away. Place fried “bombs’ on paper towels to cool. Repeat with remaining “bombs”. Serve warm with ketchup and mustard, if desired. I guess you can also bake the “bombs” but I’m all about go big or go home over here.

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6 Thoughts on “Bacon Cheeseburger Bombs

  1. Be still my heart, you culinary wizard you.

  2. SillyNluv on June 13, 2015 at 6:22 am said:

    Holy McFatFilled Deliciousness, these look amazing!

  3. It’s food like this that makes me glad I don’t keep kosher 😉

  4. Oh my God. I have to stop what I’m doing and go eat now. Good thing I don’t even remember what I was doing. How did I even get here? Doesn’t matter. BACON.

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