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shotgun wedding

Hubby and I when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with our second child. We call this costume, “The Shotgun Wedding.”

Halloween is almost here and if you’re currently pregnant, this is the time to have a great laugh at the totally-fucked-up amazing things that are happening to your body. While every other woman on earth is being force-fed the multitude of slutty costume options, you can finally let it all hang out… literally. Don’t just paint your monstrous middle like the Great Pumpkin. That’s amateur night. Get creative, really creative. Or just copy a fantastic idea from this post. I won’t tell, but you can tell all your friends about my brilliance. That would be cool.

1. Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball

This is maternity gold right here. Makes me wish I was pregnant right now. Except for the whole “another baby” thing.

Miley-Cyrus-Wrecking-Ball

“I came in like a baby bump!”

2. The Milk Man Did It

Freaking hilarious… although, anyone under the age of 40 might not get the joke, and I wouldn’t recommend this one if you have any questions as to the paternity of your little bundle. If after delivery you’re making an appearance on Maury, this costume is out.

Most people in around here wouldn’t even get this costume. Simpletons.

3. Pregnant Boobs

Who doesn’t love a nice pair staring them right in the face. You’re husband’s not fat? No worries, just stuff his shirt.

This guy is the tits (pun intended) for going along.

4. Easy Button

There is nothing like a good double entendre when you can’t tell if you are wearing matching shoes.

I feel you, girl. That’s how we got into this situation in the first place.

5. Pregnant Nun

You’ve seen people do this one, but it’s so much funnier when you’re actually pregnant. If you’re gonna go to hell you might as well get a good laugh as you prepare your handbasket. And yes, that is the Octomom. You’re welcome.

I think this is the best Octomom has ever looked. But that’s just me.

6. Bun In The Oven

This is a cute idea, but just seemed like so much work to me. And it looks heavy to wear. The last thing you want is to be more uncomfortable than you already are.

Um. Now I’m craving Cinnabon. So cruel.

8. Gory Costumes

These completely freak me out, but some people love blood and guts on Halloween. I am not one of those people, but I’m also the type of person who is afraid of my garage at night, so… I might not be the best person to ask about these. Kudos on the reenactment of Alien though, that’s good shit right there.

“Holy shit. YOU DID THIS TO ME!”

9. The Pearl

This costume is INSANE. It looks hot, heavy, uncomfortable… ohh, is that a mermaid tail? This chick is pregnant Yoda. Get it girl.

“Did you get the picture? Did you really get it? Sweet. Take this fucking shell off me, now!”

10. The Shotgun Wedding

This one is by far my favorite, because that’s me! Hubby and I pulled this one-off while I was pregnant with my second child. People actually asked if my 8 1/2 month pregnant belly was a prop. Good times.

shotgun wedding

“Yep. Get Pa by the the back porch. And get a Preacher… Quick, Jeb. Run!”

Whether you dress up or not, enjoy this last Halloween before childbirth. Next year you’ll be fighting on Ebay with a lady in Kentucky over an Elmo costume that will arrive 2 sizes smaller than advertised.

PS. I only own the shotgun wedding image because I’m in it, obviously. If you, or anyone you know is featured in these amazing pictures and wants some credit or wants me to remove your image from this post, please contact me! Thank you.

 

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