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I have never been able to relax. I’d like to blame this on my children, but when I reflect on my entire life this has always been the case. My brain has 2 speeds. On and Off. Lately even “off” has become a bit more of an “on” as I have vivid and insane dreams. I suspect that is my subconscious way of reminding myself I can’t relax.

No rest for the wicked… Maybe.

Today is a perfect example. After almost 14 days of vacation my school-aged children are back at school. A normal person would kick her feet up, stay in her pajamas and watch reruns of the Real Housewives. I tried. I really, really, did. But it wasn’t relaxing. My brain just kept ticking through all the things that needed to be done. The things that had been neglected while I was catering to the demands of vacationing children.

My whole life people have been telling me to chill out. Making me feel like my “all go, no quit” attitude was detrimental. A negative, if you will. But you know what? That’s bullshit.

I’m passionate to the point of insanity. I’m energetic and enthusiastic. If there was a way to slow down I would have discovered it already.

I need to stop thinking that this personality trait is a bad thing. Because it’s part of who I am. It’s woven into my DNA. I will always over schedule myself, be busy to the point of exhaustion and I don’t find the normal relaxation things to be relaxing… at all.

I need to embrace that shit.

Right after I fold this load of laundry.

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2 Thoughts on “Never a Dull Moment

  1. I’m with you. Although, over the years, I have found ways to relax. Shopping and eating…both of which are detrimental to me.

  2. I am the exact same way! Whenever I try to relax I am often thinking about all the things I should be doing, even though I realize how important it is to have down time. I’ve definitely been like this way before I became a mom!

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