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Five days ago, I took to my blog to voice my extreme dissatisfaction with Toys”R”Us. You can find the post here. Well, the entry was viewed over 600 times that day and by the time I went to bed I’d received an email from a reporter for ABC.com about my situation.

To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. This reporter wanted to contact Toys”R”Us directly and attempt to get a statement from them regarding my predicament. Why had they placed orders from Cyber Monday they couldn’t fulfill? Why were they standing by their “no cancellation” policy for internet orders? I was very interested to see what she uncovered. I sent her the information regarding my order number and my name on Friday at 4 p.m. By 6 p.m. that evening I’d received a phone call from Toys”R”Us corporate in New Jersey.

Mind. Blown.

The woman I spoke to was very sweet. I explained to her that I’m not a psycho-bitch with a chip on my shoulder, who has it out for Toys”R”Us (or anyone for that matter), but that I found the fact that they couldn’t fulfill the order nor would they allow me to cancel it under those circumstances to be very unsettling. While she was a very pleasant person, all she was able to tell me was the same information Toys”R”Us previously shared in their email to me. That, “while they were working on fulfilling my order, they couldn’t give me a definite ship date, time, or even confirmation that I would get my shipment before January 9th.”

That was still unacceptable.

But, this Toys”R”Us employee told me she would be checking in on my order daily and trying to get it shipped to me in the appropriate time frame to arrive for the holidays. I told her not to waste her time. In a week, I would already have repurchased the items elsewhere and she should really dedicate that time to the multitudes of other customers who were in this same pickle with Toys”R”Us. It was the truth. We exchanged pleasantries and ended our phone call.

And that was that.

Until last night.

Last night I received an email from Toys”R”Us stating that my full order had shipped and AMAZINGLY… it would be here today. On Tuesday.

I didn’t pay for shipping, let alone one-day shipping. I hadn’t found the time to buy the items again yet. I was no longer screwed and put-off, now I was in pretty good shape.

So??? The million-dollar question… how did Toys”R”Us find these goods in 5 days after telling me they probably wouldn’t have them in 30 days?

Maybe they ordered them from Amazon?

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I could spit nails right now. Or fire. Or nails and fire.

When I was a teenager I had an after school job at a national pizza joint. The job was the pits but I did get to work with my best friend so there was one silver lining. We were told repeatedly that the customer is always right. It was drilled into our little teenage brains. You wouldn’t believe how furious some people would get over a fuck up in their dinner order. The whole place was run by kids, what did they expect? And while a dissatisfied customer would be spewing venom in our faces, we’d have to smile, take it, and apologize profusely.┬áRefunds? Sure. Free Pizza? Constantly. Anything to make the customer happy.┬áBecause the customer is always right.

Unless you are Toys”R”Us.

On Cyber Monday I sat in front of my computer in yoga pants and a 10-year-old Ani DiFranco t-shirt, steaming hot coffee in hand, clicking all over the interweb getting deals for the multitudes of children I have in my life. My sons, nieces, and nephews would have that awesome shock-and-awe on Christmas morning, and I performed all this magic in the comfort of my own home. It was lovely.

Now I’m sorting through confirmation emails and deliveries. Sure, I still have some shopping to do, but the big stuff had been taken care of. Until I received this e-mail from Toys”R”Us this morning.

toyrusblows

My first thought was, “Well, that blows.” and my second thought was, “I’ll just cancel the order and buy these things somewhere else.” I mean, what’s the point if they get here on January 9th? These are Christmas gifts. Shit, January 9th wouldn’t even make them New Years gifts, if there was such a thing.

So I called Toys”R”Us to cancel my order and that’s when I got the biggest shock… you can’t cancel an order with Toys”R”Us.

Wait? What?

Yup, you read that right.

When you place an order with Toy”R”Us, you have a 45 minute window after the placement of the order to cancel. After that, you CANNOT CANCEL. Even if they can’t fulfill the order, YOU can’t cancel.

In this digital age we live in, Toys”R”Us has managed to make themselves the Fred Flintstone of the internet. By this comparative scale it would make Amazon the freaking Jetsons. With Amazon, my Cyber Monday orders arrived on my doorstep Tuesday afternoon… and I didn’t even pay for shipping.

I was told that my only cause of action is to wait until January 9th for them to cancel the order OR if the order ships before then (they don’t even know if it will) I can return the items to my nearest Toys”R”Us store. Doesn’t that kinda defeat the purpose of Cyber Monday??

The scary part was, the customer service agent I spoke to said she’s been having this same conversation quite a bit. Lovely to know I’m not the only person getting shafted by Toys”R”Us, but still completely ass backward.

So THANK YOU Toys”R”Us! Thank you for your ridiculous policy which proves that you couldn’t give a shit about your customers. Thank you for running specials on Cyber Monday without knowing if you could honor the deal, thus tying my hands and forcing me to buy these gifts twice.

You have now given me an excuse to never shop with you again.

Good riddance.