The Crying Game

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10:35PM.
The 3 year old is screaming bloody f**king murder because we put him down for bed without books (he deserved it, WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS). The 1 month old is so gassy and upset unless he is being held upright, and we finally told the 8 year old to do whatever he has to do…

This is The Crying Game.

My house after 8 PM isn’t for everybody… shit, it’s barely for me. But, it works. Well, it usually works.

Now it’s Spring Break. Spring Break isn’t really Spring up in this bitch (we live in FL) and as far as I’m concerned my kids always seem to be on some kind of school break… So this is a farce. But our nights are always later then most… Dinner is at 7 and bedtime is at 9… I know, it sounds absurd, and it is pretty much absurd but it works, well it used to work, before we had the baby.

People always told me the “middle child” stories and I really thought they were full of shit.. I mean, we all choose our own destiny, right? But I’m slowly watching my middle child become a straight up nightmare. And as I said before, “we don’t negotiate with terrorists”. (I can say it in a small voice now because he’s finally asleep). I am open to advice because I obviously need some. And although I think I know everything the 3 year old has a fantastic concept to the fact that I suck… I am fully f**king clueless to his needs.Please share your secrets. I’m ready for anything credible….

Pregnancy Bliss

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My 3 sons.

Monkey and Boy Wonder share a happy moment with Heavy B.

The birth of a new baby is a joyous event. It’s life changing and awe inspiring and you feel blessed to be a part of it. And when it’s you, it’s you, who holds the main role of the vessel for the new life, it’s all those things and more.

The honor that I felt as an expectant Mom is so hard to explain. Knowing that I would have 9 months to be the closest to someone, the closest you can ever be…. blew my mind. And pregnancy hormones have always been great to me. Being pregnant for me was a time of complete bliss and reward. I felt like I had a better sense of myself. A better sense of my place with others. Every pregnancy I had was the fastest 9 months I’ve ever experienced and I was totally at peace with myself while pregnant (which NEVER happens to me in my real life). If I could figure out a way to bottle up my pregnancy hormones and use them forever, I would, believe me.

And now he’s here. And he is spectacular! Just like I knew he would be from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Just like his 2 brothers were before him. I’m blessed and excited and freaked out and trying to balance all the good with the crazy, because being a Mother to 3 sons is where we separate the men from the boys. But it’s also where the husband and I said…. “This is it. This is our family.” And we decided to have no more children (and that is a good thing) but with that comes no more pregnancies. No more of that ethereal gift that made me feel so wonderful.

To counter that, I’m having another baby…..

Metaphorically,

I’m giving birth to a blog.

Just call me, The Outnumbered Mother.